Marie Jelly
Masqueradechics Photogallery

March 2009 April 2009 August 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010

Maybe I've been living in denial.

That I'm hardly ever at fault, that's why I always tend not to see things they way they really are and should be seen.

I've been overconfident in myself, always thinking I'm in proper control of a situation when I'm really barely handling it.

I blame myself for putting her through the one and a half years of having to put up with my nonsense. She's someone who definitely deserves someone better than me. Someone who knows what she wants, not some ignorant asshole like me.

I'm sorry for everything that I've done.

I just wish I could be who you wanted me to be.

человеку свойственно ошибаться, but I guess it's never always forgiving.

Seems just like another vacant day passing by.

Bland, colorless. Like the shadows of a room filled with antique tapestries and ornamental treasures, rendered insignificant by a shroud on the windows.

The world seemed devoid of color, sapped of energy and interest. Dull, bleak.

The night sky, riddled with stars, what was once a plain of beauty, stretching endlessly across the curve of my eye, now a plain and scarred sheet of nothingness. Empty, just like me.

Life seems to have lost its meaning, even when I have everything I could want now. Friends, girlfriend, family.. to some extent.

Something's missing; but what?

I'm not a good boyfriend,
I'm not a good student,
I'm not a good friend,
I'm not a good brother,
nor am I a good son.

I've never been a very reliable person in any way. And I don't think I ever will be. Always screwing things up, making people hate me in almost every way possible. Sometimes, I think the world would be better off without me.